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Apr. 19th, 2008

Hi Spring

(no subject)

Here I am. Yes yesness.

Not much is new. I've been working my tailfeather off and loving it actually. The kids are growing fast and I'm glad that summer is around the corner.

Matt & I are taking Will to the circus next week. And then Saturday I have a photoshoot in Indiana. I'm excited. How are things going on everyone else's end? Fabulous I hope.

Apr. 12th, 2008

Maroon Lips

...

I'm back with a fixed computer. Yay!

I drank too much last night.

Apr. 7th, 2008

Sparkle Lips

Broken....

Will has pulled the last row of buttons off my laptop. As of now I am missing - my left shift key, z, x, c, v, b, n, m, & ,. Plus a control button, function key, and two other unidentifiable keys. So now it has to go into the shop. I'm dying inside. Matt's just had to go in for a virus and is now ready to be picked up. I feel like a moron pressing the little white tabs that hide beneath the keys. I always go MIA once I start enjoying LJ again. Ugh. I could use my right shift key but it's so weird. I know - crazy lady. Matt and I are about to watch Blood & Chocolate, my favorite book turned film. I love you all. I'll just have to post from the other computer.
Ball Lips

Ouch.

I dislocated my kneecap Saturday night. I was just standing outside and POP. There it goes and I'm on the ground. Yesterday my knee was swollen and slightly bruised. Today however - my whole leg is swollen, including my foot. Matt nudged me this morning. "Are you going to get up with the kids or not?" How effing rude, right? Not a "Hey, baby. How is your knee?" Nothing. Maybe I'm just being cranky. As usual.

I haven't been outside yet. I'm going to try and get to a doctor today and see if I can't get some pain meds. Otherwise I'll just be doping out on extra strength Tylenol. Will is being a butthead already. Throwing things and generally being two. And Hazel is just screaming. For no reason. Just so someone will ask her what is wrong. Anywho. That's this morning.

Apr. 5th, 2008

Rainbow Lips

Writer's Block: Saturday Night

How are your Saturday nights different now than they were five years ago?
I'm home with my kids instead of out with my friends or boyfriend. How sad that time flies.
Ice Lips

Ice Queen. Effing fine.

Just another day here. Or rather - another episode. It's beautiful outside. Will and I played with sidewalk chalk earlier. It was nice.

Matt and I fought today - it wasn't so nice. Long story short, his job is way more important than I'll ever be. But whatever. I'm so over this drama llama. He accuses me of being cold. But to be honest, I don't want to sleep with someone who is a complete and utter asshole all the effing time. He expects me to work to put him through college and not go to school myself. I'm not busting my ass working 7pm to 2am shifts and then getting up at 7am with the kids to not get a degree. And maybe that's selfish, but I don't care. See title. And he ... Jesus ... expects that saying I love you fixes it and makes me forget. I'm sick and tired of just getting over it when he hurts my feelings. And he just walks out the door. Like it's no big deal. Well it is. It was. And he just fucked up.

But we all know I'll end up getting over it. Someone please, come slap the shit out of me. Give me the confidence to leave his sorry ass. I know I deserve better. High school is over. I loved him with everything. Gave up everything to be with him. And he walks on me. He's staying home with the kids tonight. I'm going to a party. And we'll see who is the bitch in the morning.

Apr. 4th, 2008

Skull Lips

Just me?

Why is it so hard for men to ask us how we are? Or to make sure everything is okay before just leaving the room? Women check on each other and actually care when we have shit going on. It seems that men of our generation weren't taught common courtesy. If you see someone clearly upset - don't you ask what's wrong? Don't you check on them? I do. And it seems like bullshit that the one person I thought genuinely cared just walks out of the house and doesn't care. Not even the slightest bit. I understand he wants to get to work on time. But take two seconds out of your damn day to make sure that your wife is breathing.
Skull Lips

early girl & kicking it

It is far too early for anything today. I finally got out of work at 2:30 this morning. Yeah, I'm a little pissy. And now I'm up - listening to Bee Movie and hoping Hazel will fall asleep soon.

A really good friend of mine has been on me about my smoking. You know the usual lecture. It's bad for me .... I should think of the kids .... All of the things I know. But the truth is, I just like to smoke. Maybe more than I should. But after waking up this morning and not feeling like I "need" one, I think he is right.

So, let's recap huh? It's effing early and I'm going to quit. It's going to be a long day.

Apr. 2nd, 2008

Hi Spring

I breathe.

Things have been worse, I'll give you that much for sure. Matt and I are working on things and everyday is a serious battle. I'm working now, he's working now. We're still at my mom's - which is getting old fast. No car and I honestly don't think Matt has any motivation. He's so bossy, which I can't stand. But enough of that.

Torey - I hope your C-Section goes well. Hopefully Kyle will be there in time. We weren't that excited about baby #2 either.

Nicolette - I'm so happy for you. I hope you feel well. And I hope it's a girl.

You guys are the only reason I post.

Nov. 16th, 2007

Hi Spring

Who knew?

Matt and I split up on Tuesday the 13th. The kids and I moved in with Mom. I'm going to find a aprttime job and go to school parttime. He saw the kids for the first time yesterday and acted all bent up about the split. But when it happened it wasn't meant to be permenant. I told him that I needed time to think and get my head together, that I still love him and that I wouldn't be long. He in turn said "You're beautiful, I'm sure you can find someone to take care of you. I probably won't date for awhile." WTF?! So at this point in time we're still married on paper, but we don't speak or see eachother. Sorry I've been missing.

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